Sheesh, I'm learning my share of lessons lately. I've been silenced in my extended family, and this is my way to maybe reach out for others to hear my side of the story. If you are in the sort of spirit that only wants to know one side of a story, I suggest you stop reading now.
Family relationships can be so difficult.
When a family dynamic is set up and you fall into your place, you don't have much say on where that place actually is.
In my case, my place has been as a second class citizen. The perceived more important people in the family control the atmosphere and I have to bow to their ways.
Recently, it was made apparent to me that in order for me to be a part of my extended family I have to be bullied into silence. My place is to come to the family occasions and be silent. Or more accurately, I've been told I can come to their occasions if I only give praises.
Now, I don't know how you feel, but sometimes I have to bring up problems. When a child needs to be reprimanded, I have to say something. I don't care if it is the perceived most important persons child who needs the reprimanding.
I'm being accused that this is not being forgiving, but seeks vengeance. What do you think? I just simply cannot move forward in those relationships where the other person is going to make excuse after excuse for their bad behavior and then expects me to agree with their excuses. Well, I don't agree. I believe you say sorry when you've done something wrong. All this contention in my extended family is to allow people to not have to say sorry to each other.
It is amazing to me to see a few of the other perceived less important extended family members ignore me seemingly for fear of the treatment they will get by the perceived most important family members. If you feel that way, that should be witness enough to you the control the perceived most important person has over you. What will they do to you if you reach out to me? Never invite you again to their stuff if you come seeking my side of the story? That's some pretty scary stuff. You are allowing them to judge for you what is going on.
Since I have come to know God, I realize that none of us is more important than others. Each and every one of us is important to God and He treats each of us as an individual with feelings and desires.
Another lesson I've learned is that if you have sinned, the Holy Ghost will come after you all the day long bringing your sin to your remembrance. You can run away from Him. And eventually He will stop coming for you until you soften. Those feelings will feel accusatory. You may mistake those feelings you have as being from the person you sinned against.
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