Demise Part 2

In my dreams, I was running, running, running away from the destroyer. Whoever, or whatever it was that was coming to destroy me had me paralyzed. One night in my dream, I was running, running. For the first time the evil spoke directly to me. It said, 'you are next.' I ran into an office where there was a table in the center of the room. I climbed under the table, as if I could hide there. I found a blanket under the table and buried my face in the blanket. I could hear others running around still in the hallways of the building. There I sat under that table and waited to see if the darkness could find me. I hoped and hoped it wouldn't find me. But lo, within a few seconds the dark evil came right up to me. I was terrified and in disbelief that it had found me. As I sat there under my blanket, I began to remember that God is the one in charge and that if He wanted me destroyed at this moment in my life then this evil was given power from Him to destroy me. I decided to face the darkness. If I died, I died and was going home to my Father's home. I took the blanket off my face and saw the darkness right in front of me. It was dark, really, really dark. I looked at it right in the face. But it didn't harm me. It had no power to destroy me. So, I stood up and began making my way out of the building. On my way out, I saw many others frantically running around trying to get away from the darkness, their own pending doom, demise. I was determined to get out of this building and go home. The rest of the dream I'll save for another day. And the rest of the story is equally important. Demise is a powerful thing. None of us wants to lose anything we love and treasure. Are you running, running, running away from something in your life that you need to face? If so, let's talk about it. Let's face the fear so you can stop running. And this is coming from a woman who loves to run, although my bodily circumstances have changed, I still dearly, dearly love to run.

Demise

In my last post I briefly talked about the demise I felt in my parents home while growing up. Demise. Have you ever felt demise? Demise in my definition, or the way I am using it here, is that I felt a darkness inside me that led me to think some impending doom was coming to me. It came out in my dreams. I would have reoccurring dreams of someone or something bad chasing me. I would spend the entire dream running away from this evil something that was coming to destroy me. In the end, I would awaken from those dreams frenzied because I wondered if they got me. That came from the demise I felt everyday. Tell me your experiences with demise. What affect has demise played on you in your life?

Roles And Knowing Who You Are

It is 10:00am on Saturday morning and the older kids are still asleep. I remember when I was a child my parents didn't pay attention to when I went to bed, or when I got out of bed the next morning. My parents had 12 children and I am number 6. My mother went to work full time as a nurse when I was around 8 years old. When she did that my life changed dramatically. It wasn't long after that that my father separated from my mother. He moved out into an apartment about a mile away from our house. I went there only 1 time that I remember. I remember the night that my parents sat us kids down and told us about their separation or pending divorce, I can't remember which. I don't remember anything they said, only that my father wasn't going to be living with us anymore. I remember feeling really yucky inside. It was the second time in my life that I remember hurting really bad inside my heart. The first time was when I was 4 years old and I was punished for something I didn't do to my sibling. I was very angry that I wasn't allowed to tell my side of the story and that I was innocent of the charges for which I was accused and now paying the penalty for. But back to when my mother went to work full time and my father moved back in our house without telling us why or what was going on between them. I was glad my father was back, but still had the dark, unsettled feeling in my stomach that there was demise in our home. It was during this time in my life that I needed a lot of instruction and correction, as all 8-16 year olds need. The affect this had on me was that I grew extremely insecure about my role in our family and about my ability to be successful at school. I knew how to get good grades, but I was confused about what to become in life. When my parents decided to send my mother to work full time, grave shifts no less, they must have neglected to define how my mothers new role as a provider was going to affect her mothering. She nearly fell off the face of the earth as to mothering. It was like a death to me. My mother died in my life. So as my children are still asleep on Saturday morning, and I know they went to bed before 11:00pm last night, I am going to go downstairs and awake them from their slumber. I know my role as their mother. And after much struggle, I know my role as my Father in Heaven's daughter.

The Avengers

If you haven't seen this movie, you're not missing much. At least not missing much that is good from this movie. It was violent. We saw it in 3D. I was not impressed at all. That being said, the violence in today's movies is alarming to me. Violence is made to look cool. How many violent movies do we go to and make entertainment out of it. I had to remind my kids that it is never cool to see one human be violent with another. It has come to me numerous times to be so selective in our entertainment that we don't have to be surprised when the movie that we choose to see happens to be offensive.