Co-Dependency

I was just looking through my blog stats, which I have never done until today.  It was interesting to me that a post I wrote in April 2010 got 157 page view hits on it.  Here is the link to it.  The post is all about me being a needy child.  The next closest post only had 20 page view hits.  Wow!  That is pretty remarkable to me.  What was so interesting about that particular post, I wonder?

I have no idea who has read that post 157 times because I don't have a widget that shows me who is coming to my blog and who isn't.  I have done that on purpose because I don't want anyone to think I am watching to see if they come to my blog.  I like people to feel like they can come here and their presence will be anonymous.

As a follow up to that post, I am happy to report that I have come a long way from being a co-dependent daughter, wife, friend, etc.

It is strange to think about where I've been and how far I've come.  Life feels normal to me now and I have so much happiness.  I feel like a part of my Patriarchal blessing has been fulfilled which states that 'As you keep the commandments, your life will be a joy and a pleasure.'  I feel so grateful that the Lord got to me and He helped me change my life.  He has done so much for me and helped me in ways that I can't possibly explain.

I am a testimony that people can and do change.  I have changed so much and I know with the Lord's help, I can change more to be who He wants me to be.  I am happy to allow Him to do this to me.  I am gaining more trust in His care, something that has been incredibly hard for me to do.  But, something inside of me yearns to trust Him more.  Something beckons me to feel after Him and search out His love for me.  Something inside of me wants to tell everyone I know of His love.

So my co-dependency is a faded memory.  Strangely, I feel like it could become a living, breathing part of my life again if I let it, but I don't.  I fell down on my right bum cheek 6 years ago on the pavement and the Lord has seen fit to not heal me from the injuries I sustained that day.  I attribute my spiritual growth to this.  I have been virtually physically immovable since that fall.  I sit a large portion of every day because of the pain I have in my right foot.  The Lord has taught me that through physical immovability, I could learn spiritual immovability.  And that is the exact lesson that I have needed to learn so badly, for I had consistently lowered my standards and consistently offended Heavenly Father in the process.  So, I am grateful for my physical immovability for the lessons it has taught me.  I wish I could have learned some other way, but...  And I suppose I need the constant reminder, ie constant pain in my foot, to never lower my standards again.  I gratefully accept it if that is the case because I have gone to every doctor, chiropractor, neurosurgeon, etc with no cure available to me.

So, I'm off to bed.  Church starts for us at 08:30 am, bright and early!  Good night everyone!